its gone...god damn and i was fucking in love with that story...

ok shit here's my feeble attempt at recreating what was lost:
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last night i fell in love with his song. the words and melody that came from his voice enraptured me completely. there was something about him that made me wanna go up to him and say, "hi i'm so and so would you like to have a drink?" but that would requre something called "courage" an element that i struggle with as well as other young people in my age bracket.

so what did i do instead? i sat at the bar, at the smoking patio and drank/smoked the night away with the homies. we conversed as we normally do. our conversation consisting of the usual laughter and sarcasm, which i gladly participated in. but my attention was obviously held elsewhere. on the stage where he was.

in a sea of earth toned shirts and cacky pants, he wore a blue button down shirt and dirty denim. in a mess of beige beanies and skully caps, his blue nyc mets cap caught me staring. he was comfortable with the fact that he didn't fit the "norm" of the neo-soul / hip hop style. he let his voice illustrate that he was definitely part of the scene.

damn that voice. when i walked in i felt my heart jump and then suddenly melt because it was the sound that had the soul that echoed in d'angelo, maxwell and musiq's voice. only this time it came intimately before me from a pilipino male. on any other occasion i would have simply walked passed him and thought "hmm he's cute" and that would have been that. but his voice kept me staring.

"je - su - chris - to" i said as his set ended and the dj began to get ready to take over. the gals and fellas laughed as i was obviously gawking at him as he stepped off stage and manuevered to the bar. we got up from our camp in the smoking patio to dance to the music. the dj was our friend and the reason we were there anyway. i didn't really want to dance, so i couldn't be my usual funny and crazy dancing self because my eyes kept going back to the bar where HE was.

and then the embarrasment occured.

damn friends and their drunken mentality and stupidity. i went to bar to get a drink to quench the thirst that had come about from dancing. one of the fellas, who had intended to gently nudge me into HIS direction, pushed or shoved me into his direction instead. who knows...my inebriated ass felt like i was shoved into his way. i looked at my friend with a distainfull eye at his "accidental" nudge and he winked back at me with a "go get'em" smirk on his face.

"i'm sorry" muttered out of my mouth. I felt like i was blushing all over but the dim lights and my dark brown skin hid all that.

"don't worry about it. its cool. what are you drinkin?" and he motioned for the bartendar to come by our way.

and that's how it all started. i went from gawking uncontrollably to having a conversation with him. i learned that he was a pisces, studied english and comparative literature because he loved the lyricism in it, listened to hip hop for the same reasons, sang because it was a gift given to him, wrote because it was how he shared, listened to r&b and soul because it was what he grew up on, and danced because it came naturally.

i didnt wan to think he was perfect because there's no such thing as perfection in my book. but he was cutting it close. we danced to the same beat and grooved the same way. when it was last call i didn't realize that two or some odd hours had passed. and we had enjoyed each others company for the most part.

people started to filter out and our dj friend began to pack up. we all lingered waiting for the next plan of action...most likely food. we shared a cigarette and conversed some more and some how...i think it was the liquid courage called alcohol...words spilled from my mouth...

"so are we gonna do this again sometime?"

the night wasn't even over then, but damn that alcohol, the words just came out.

"lets wait and see where this night goes first..." he answered and he sweetly smiled.

our respective peoples filtered out into the parking lot and packed up our cars. it was off to norm's to sober up on bottomless cups of coffee and food. his friends and my friends all seemed to get along. in fact it felt like we were all long lost homies. we all were starving and couldn't get enough of our late night breakfast endeavor. it was a nice end to a surprising evening.

as wel all filtered out of norm's to smoke a cigarette so we could regain the feeling of a stomach i asked him again...

"so are we gonna do this again sometime?"

"well what do you think?"

i pulled out my phone and gave it to hiim to enter his number.

"thats what i think" i said with a mischevious grin.

he smiled and gave me his phone to do the same.

the night was coming to a happy close and i was ready for a long hot shower and my comfy bed to rest in. he walked me to my car and it was quite embarrassing to say goodbye with a car full of my friends...but it had to be done.

"so i'll hear from you later yeah?" he said

"definitely..." and i gave him a hug...not good bye, just good night.

i got into my car and started the engine and just as i was about to back out of my space he knocked on my window. i opened it to see what was up....

"yeah?"

he walked up to the window and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"i've been wanting to do that all night. i had to do it before you left."

my friends just giggled. it was so wrong. but definitely expected and embarrassing. that's my friends for you.

"uhhh...thanks...i'll talk to you later" and i smiled.

he walked to his car and i drove off feeling very happy. this night started with me falling in love with his song. i didn't know it would lead to maybe falling in love with him. that's what i call a good night out with the gals and fellas.

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ok that's the story...i was able to rehash most of it...damn this sounds like an ongoing thing...i just might have to write more to this...hmmm maybe later...

yay...story wasn't so lost after all....

=)