internecinus: deadly hindrances:a delay my frustrations and complications....

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

 
when did i get old?

everytime i read vince's blog i feel a lil bit older...doesn't really make me sad...it makes me just ponder things a bit and wonder where the time has gone...

at dinner today i pulled a classic elaine/baby damulag or baby moment. i was eating the bone marrow soup my mom made for dinner and i scooped a piece of the bone marrow with the ladle,but there was no meat on the circular bone. i cried out "where's the meat on this?" and my parents laughed at me...the soup had made the meat so tender it fell off the bone and i had been eating it the whole time. it reminded them of how when i was little my dad was carrying me and i was licking my ice cream cone and suddenly i started to cry because my ice cream was gone. i had no idea that i had ate it and thought my dad ate it. another time i had a bowl of ice cream and then i went upstairs to play when i came back down my ice cream was all melted in the bowl, but i thought someone had ate it all up...its good to know some things never change...

i thought about my lola today. i remembered how she used to make the bone marrow soup thing at marson. dad says thats why her cholestorol was so high and how she got her stroke. its weird i hadn't thought about her in so long and when i was eating the soup it made me think of her instantly. its been so long....

i dont know if i can even remember her voice anymore.

i can still remember the touch of her skin as i would amin her when i would see her.
i can still remember her salt-n-peppery gray hair.
i can still remember her light brown skin.
i can still remember how she wouldn't let me watch cartoons bc she thought it would rot my brain, but she would let me watch soap operas bc she considered it good tv.
i can still remember how she would fall asleep on the couch and then yell at me when i changed the channel bc she was "listening" to the soap opera.
i can remember how she looked so pretty at the big golden wedding anniversary my aunts and uncles planned for her.

i can remember all this...but i can't remember her voice...
i really wish i could here her voice right now and ask her for advice on so many things.
i wish i could ask her if she missed the philippines
i wish i could ask her so many things
its been 6 years....i can't believe she's been gone for 6 years....

6 years.
i still miss you lola
rest in peace
i hope we're all making you proud somehow...