Wednesday, June 12, 2002

 
i am on the verge of tears.

i just walked into my hall from watching the laker game with caren, jp, and emil, and i come into an empty hall. the walls are bare and it makes me sad. i walk into my room and none of the posters are up and boxes filled with my stuff are the first thing i see. i can't help but be on the verge of tears!! this has been the hardest year of my life and i learned so much from it, but i dont want it to end.... i know that i say this every year, but this year feels different. last year i left kaba board and reach behind and my heartbroke...but that was just with like 30 ppl...this time i'm leaving board again, 26 other ra's, the mesa staff in general: cp's, sp's, dm's labtech's....and most importantly my resis...i never thought this job would have been so hard....my resis went from names on a piece of paper to people i shared a year of my life with. all 66 of them...even though i bonded with i'd say like half of them...these ppl still meant a lot to me. i'd like to know what happens to them in 3 or 4 years when they graduate...it feels so strange to think that these ppl looked up to me for advice, help, anything really.... i never really thought i'd get to live this dream..and now that its almost time for me to wake up...

i'd rather stay in bed....

mood of the moment: thoughtful and sad